(Post previously published)
Beauty. What a strange concept. How can you define it? Does it consist of full lashes and lips? Carved out cheekbones and thick hair? Well maybe that IS how you could distinguish a person who looks beautiful or pretty from the outside, but what about the fullness of their smile or the kindness they portray?
Truthfully, it disgusts me how something as temporary as looks can be the SOLE motivation behind friendships and relationships. Do people not realise, just HOW temporary physical beauty is? All your hair and all your eyelashes could fall out from an allergic reaction, in a matter of days. Your nose could break and suffer permanent damage from an accidental fall, in a mere few hours. And if these things don’t happen, then natural processes will take place with age – greying of the hair, wrinkling of the skin. I don’t mean to be negative, I just feel like there are so many people that don’t understand this.
There are certain people in the world that think and feel that they are better than others. That because they are regarded as ‘pretty’ and ‘fashionable’ they somehow have lost the need to be polite, to smile at others and to do other general kind acts. It is so important to be confident about who you are and how you look, but not to take it too far and to think that you’re superior to anyone else. I think it's great for people to take some pride in their appearance - I for one try to. But for me, the next quote says it all - no matter what, stay humble.
Whether you’re dressed in all Primark clothes (Sorry Primark ily x) or always wearing expensive clothing (ily also ZARA, probably more so when I’m rich and famous x). Whether you are the epitome of beauty, or the stereotype of ugly. Just remember that there isn’t much difference between us all, and the bigger differentiations are made internally, through your behaviour and personality.
I say stereotype of ugly because honestly, I’ve never seen an ‘ugly’ person. I mean yeah, someone may have acne prone skin, wear braces and have greasy hair. But if you actually look at a person, anyone – you will see how beautiful they really are. Like I know how cliche it sounds but we just never really focus on specific features and instead how it all comes together at once. Like the eyes MAN, how can anybody have ugly eyes?
‘There is beauty in everything, just not everyone chooses to see it’
I’m not at all trying to say or be naïve enough to believe that looks don’t matter, because we live in a society where it's unfortunate but looks do seem to be everything. My message is simply that physical beauty is not the only important thing in life, it is temporary and we shouldn’t regard it as a priority.
It’s unfortunate that because of the significance of it in our society and in our lives - many girls (including myself) feel the need to constantly wear makeup to live up to this standard of ‘beauty’. Yes, I LOVE makeup, I love applying it and being able to add more to my collection, as many of us do – but it is just as important to feel comfortable in your own skin.
I know many beautiful people that feel insecure about themselves and have a tendency to point out their flaws, which are more apparent to themselves than anyone else. We all have a habit of ‘self-flaw picking’ (YES I JUST MADE MY OWN WORD UP (technically two but minor)) but to anyone reading this post, do this simple task. Next time you look in the mirror, before you begin to focus on your flaws – pick out 3 features that you like about yourself. Don’t feel big-headed or ego-centric, I genuinely think that this is a way in which you can begin to feel more comfortable within yourself. Maybe you have pretty eyes, or nice bone structure – Just concentrate on those 3 features and feel more positive about yourself, because however cheesy this sounds, you’re probably beautiful and so used to your features that you are unable to see what others can.
This illustration is taken from the children’s book ‘The Twits’ by Roald Dahl. Yet I believe that children are not the only ones that need to be reminded of this – so let us try to better our thoughts and to better our hearts, qualities much more important than looking beautiful, yet help us to do so. (In my opinion)
(Post previously published)
A question that I am frequently asked goes something along the lines of “How/why are you so happy all of the time?” – I don’t know if I AM happy all of the time, but I do know that I’m good at being positive about things. There is not a single person in the world that has a ‘perfect life’ and I can say with certainty that each and every one of us has SOMETHING going on, on different levels of importance yet a problem all the same. What is portrayed from the outside is a small glimpse of a persons life, and some people are better at hiding their emotions than others. And that is the reason as to why I LOVE the quote: “Be kind. For everyone you meet faces a battle you know nothing about.” – And it’s true. Think about all the people you walk past, (maybe say hello to) on a daily basis that are facing problems. Whether it be the death of a parent, the illness of a family member, the loss of a loved one or the simple struggle to survive. This is just another one of about 834952 reasons to be kind.
I think that most people do not share their problems with others, because they feel it will become a burden. If everyday, you were to speak about how you hate life or share your negative thoughts – they would become a burden, not only to those around you, but to yourself. If you were to continuously be negative, then you would continuously feel negative. THAT is the reason as to why I choose to stay positive. It works in the same way.
I do not however, think it’s acceptable for someone to face their problems alone, should they require someone. If you feel like you have no one to talk to then feel free to contact me. We might not know each other well, maybe not at all – but I can try to offer my advice or maybe you just need someone to listen, in confidence. (Yaa don’t think I’m weird for saying that, I have to practice what I preach INIT)
I also believe that everything that happens, comes with at least one valuable lesson to be learnt.
For example, my grandma suffers from Alzheimer’s, a brain disease that slowly destroys brain cells. There is no cure for it and it has its worst effects (effects or affects idk fgs) on the areas of the brain that control memory, language, and thinking skills. She is now in the final stages of it whereby she can’t even remember the names of her own children, or even herself. Quite honestly, it’s heartbreaking to have to sit with her and not be recognised. Heartbreaking to sit with her and not know whether or not she's in pain. The same woman who just a few years ago would look after me, as we talked and laughed together. Not many people know about this, I don’t want the sympathy when I don’t even sympathise with myself. I refuse to be negative about it, and as saddening as it is, I am okay with it. I am okay with it because I can reminisce on positive memories. I am okay with it because I appreciate the time I get to spend with her and hold her hand, even now. I am okay with it because I have learnt that anything can happen to a person, at any time – which is why you should make the most of what you have, when you have it. I am okay with it because there is nothing that I, or any other person can do. I am okay with it because I am a firm believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’ and as a Muslim ( الحمد لله ) – I put faith in Allah.
“Whoever complains about a calamity which comes his way, it is as if he has complained against his Lord.” – Al-Fudayl. A quote that I recently came across and fell in love with. If you are a believer (of Islam), then remember this quote, keep it in your mind and in your heart and remember that there is reason behind everything that happens. You may not see it at first, but time will make it clear and if not now, then in the hereafter.
I apologise if that came across as a sob story as my intention is not for anyone to feel sorry for me. It’s just an example that bad things DO happen to people, they always happen, but it is possible to remain positive. If you find it hard to do so, then remember that whatever you are going through, someone is worse off. You might have lost a loved one, but out there, there is a person who has never had someone to love them. You might have lost a parent, but some people are orphaned before the age of 1. You might not be able to afford something you want, but there are people that can’t even afford a glass of water.
I am not at all trying to diminish anyone’s problems, because if they are important to you, then they are important. It’s all about trying to accept what happens to you (as much as you don’t like them). There are things that are inevitable and can’t be helped, so why dwell on what is out of your control? Instead embrace them and stay positive, as positivity is the basis of happiness.
Just remember that whatever the situation is, there is someone worse off in the world, someone who wouldn’t mind a life like yours and whatever the situation is, there will be SOMETHING positive to come from it. Remember how they used to tell us that every cloud has a silver lining? Well it’s up to YOU to find that lining. And no matter how big and how grey the cloud is, if you look really carefully – you’ll soon be able to find a sliver of silver.
(Post previously published)
Here’s another cheesy quote that I believe in. But seriously, instead of the huge amount of attention we pay to how we look every day, we should pay more attention to how nice we are as people, because surely - beauty comes from within. When people (especially those whom I am unacquainted with) smile at me (an actual, genuine smile) – it makes me so happy. For example, when I walk to college in the morning I am required to walk along a bridge and I often see the same girl. Every time she sees me she smiles; a genuine smile as if we have known each other for years, but I don’t even know her name. That’s an act of kindness is it not? A small, simple one, that requires very little effort, but nevertheless something that could make someone’s day a little brighter. Try it. Smile more often. Be positive. Be a good friend. Be a trustworthy person who doesn’t speak badly of others. Offer people help, even if you don’t know them that well. People might not do the exact same thing for you, but I dislike that way of thinking: “Why should I help her when she wouldn’t help me?” or “I don’t know him so why should I waste my time?” – I think the world needs more selfless acts, doing things to benefit others even if you don’t seem to get anything out of it. These are the kinds of things that I believe make you a kinder person, making you so much more beautiful than you already are.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi.