(Post previously published)
A question that I am frequently asked goes something along the lines of “How/why are you so happy all of the time?” – I don’t know if I AM happy all of the time, but I do know that I’m good at being positive about things. There is not a single person in the world that has a ‘perfect life’ and I can say with certainty that each and every one of us has SOMETHING going on, on different levels of importance yet a problem all the same. What is portrayed from the outside is a small glimpse of a persons life, and some people are better at hiding their emotions than others. And that is the reason as to why I LOVE the quote: “Be kind. For everyone you meet faces a battle you know nothing about.” – And it’s true. Think about all the people you walk past, (maybe say hello to) on a daily basis that are facing problems. Whether it be the death of a parent, the illness of a family member, the loss of a loved one or the simple struggle to survive. This is just another one of about 834952 reasons to be kind.
I think that most people do not share their problems with others, because they feel it will become a burden. If everyday, you were to speak about how you hate life or share your negative thoughts – they would become a burden, not only to those around you, but to yourself. If you were to continuously be negative, then you would continuously feel negative. THAT is the reason as to why I choose to stay positive. It works in the same way.
I do not however, think it’s acceptable for someone to face their problems alone, should they require someone. If you feel like you have no one to talk to then feel free to contact me. We might not know each other well, maybe not at all – but I can try to offer my advice or maybe you just need someone to listen, in confidence. (Yaa don’t think I’m weird for saying that, I have to practice what I preach INIT)
I also believe that everything that happens, comes with at least one valuable lesson to be learnt.
For example, my grandma suffers from Alzheimer’s, a brain disease that slowly destroys brain cells. There is no cure for it and it has its worst effects (effects or affects idk fgs) on the areas of the brain that control memory, language, and thinking skills. She is now in the final stages of it whereby she can’t even remember the names of her own children, or even herself. Quite honestly, it’s heartbreaking to have to sit with her and not be recognised. Heartbreaking to sit with her and not know whether or not she's in pain. The same woman who just a few years ago would look after me, as we talked and laughed together. Not many people know about this, I don’t want the sympathy when I don’t even sympathise with myself. I refuse to be negative about it, and as saddening as it is, I am okay with it. I am okay with it because I can reminisce on positive memories. I am okay with it because I appreciate the time I get to spend with her and hold her hand, even now. I am okay with it because I have learnt that anything can happen to a person, at any time – which is why you should make the most of what you have, when you have it. I am okay with it because there is nothing that I, or any other person can do. I am okay with it because I am a firm believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’ and as a Muslim ( الحمد لله ) – I put faith in Allah.
“Whoever complains about a calamity which comes his way, it is as if he has complained against his Lord.” – Al-Fudayl. A quote that I recently came across and fell in love with. If you are a believer (of Islam), then remember this quote, keep it in your mind and in your heart and remember that there is reason behind everything that happens. You may not see it at first, but time will make it clear and if not now, then in the hereafter.
I apologise if that came across as a sob story as my intention is not for anyone to feel sorry for me. It’s just an example that bad things DO happen to people, they always happen, but it is possible to remain positive. If you find it hard to do so, then remember that whatever you are going through, someone is worse off. You might have lost a loved one, but out there, there is a person who has never had someone to love them. You might have lost a parent, but some people are orphaned before the age of 1. You might not be able to afford something you want, but there are people that can’t even afford a glass of water.
I am not at all trying to diminish anyone’s problems, because if they are important to you, then they are important. It’s all about trying to accept what happens to you (as much as you don’t like them). There are things that are inevitable and can’t be helped, so why dwell on what is out of your control? Instead embrace them and stay positive, as positivity is the basis of happiness.
Just remember that whatever the situation is, there is someone worse off in the world, someone who wouldn’t mind a life like yours and whatever the situation is, there will be SOMETHING positive to come from it. Remember how they used to tell us that every cloud has a silver lining? Well it’s up to YOU to find that lining. And no matter how big and how grey the cloud is, if you look really carefully – you’ll soon be able to find a sliver of silver.